Goodbye 2012. You
were a good year. We spent time with
family in Virginia, and San Diego, and Utah.
We married off College Daughter, and renamed her Married Daughter. We saw prosperity, and some sadness, but all
in all you were a good year.
On Sunday Cool Dad and I were asked to speak in church. The topic, New Year’s Resolutions. I was somewhat surprised, mostly because I don’t
make New Year’s Resolutions, but I accepted the challenge and started looking
for material. I found a talk by
President Uchtdorf from October that talked about a nurse who worked with
terminally ill patients, and what they wished they had done differently in
their lives. They had three main
regrets, they wished they had spent more time with the people they loved, they
wished they had lived up to their full potential, they wished they had let
themselves be happier.
Needless to say, I have been thinking all week about these
regrets/wishes, probably brought on even more by the fact that Alzheimer’s has
taken my Dad’s memories. He is no
longer the Dad I grew up with. He will
not ever come out of the nursing home. I
won’t ever know if he has regrets.
Rather than worry about that, I would rather list my memories of him.
I remember always wanting to be outside working with
him. I couldn’t have been more than four;
we built a retaining wall next to our house.
I remember at 8 years old Dad would put the 1972 Ford truck
in gear and it would move forward as I steered and he would throw the hay bales
in the back.
I remember Dad teaching me how to drive the riding lawn
mower.
I remember traveling all over Idaho in our camper following
my brother’s baseball games all summer.
I remember driving to Sun Valley, for the day, just to eat
at Louie’s.
I remember meeting my Dad at 12:05 on the road from
town. Not my favorite memory, you did
not want to miss curfew at our house.
I remember my Dad handing out huge burlap sacks of potatoes
to all of the widows in the neighborhood.
I remember my Dad walking the floor many a night with Married
Daughter. She was one colicky baby.
I remember my Dad taking a three year old to the mall for a pretzel
because she asked with that cute little smile.
I remember my Dad telling Cool Dad “good luck” when he said
he wanted to marry me.
I remember my Dad caring for my mom with some amazing
nursing skills after her bone marrow transplant.
I remember sleeping in the car in Baker, CA (twice) because
Dad needed a rest, and he wouldn’t let any of the other licensed drivers
actually take the wheel.
I remember my Dad telling me about how he had to ski for his
job when we lived in Lake Tahoe, CA, and wishing he would ski with me, just
once.
I remember that my Dad
drove on the Santa Monica Pier, and no, cars are not allowed there.
I remember moving hand lines at 5am with my Dad.
I remember my Dad letting me name the horses, and yes, we
did have horses named Scamper and Spike.
I remember my Dad hauling my 4-H sheep all over the place.
I remember calling my Dad George (his given name, but not
the name he went by) when we wanted to harass him.
I remember my Dad crying when his new little puppy, Gunda,
was accidentally run over.
I remember that my Dad told me that he loved me all of the
time, and even though he doesn’t know who I am anymore, when I tell him that I
love him he says it back.
With the start of 2013, I do want to make a resolution. I want to be a mom that documents the comings
and goings, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don’t want my kids to wonder about their
memories. I want to be able to pull out
a book and let them read all about them.
I want them to know that through it all we were a family, and I want them
to know that I loved being their mom.