Thursday, December 29, 2011

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

I did it. I swore I wouldn't, but I did. "Never again," I said after last year, but I did it anyway. Last year loyal readers may recall that we spent Christmas with my sister and her family (this is not the part I said I would never do again). We had a great time. They live in snow country so my kiddies were very happy. It was the whole hauling Christmas out of state, and traveling during the holidays that I swore never to do again. This does not equal total relaxation.

Enter College Daughter. "Wouldn't it be fun to spend Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa? I sure love St. George around the holidays. Wow, it sure is going to be a long, long drive for me to come home at Christmas. Maybe we should meet in the middle, say at Grandma and Grandpa's?" Don't worry folks, I am no dummy. I knew exactly what she was doing, and I let her do it anyway.

Did I mention that her missionary came home to St. George over Christmas break? Hmmm, what an interesting coincidence.

I do have to admit it was a great holiday. We had lots of Grandma and Grandpa time(both sets) and lots of cousin play time. We went to see We Bought a Zoo, played games, and even managed to have Santa visit us.

Bubba was very happy with his remote control car. Pie loves her Holiday Barbie, and College Daughter got spoiled with a new camera.

Cool Dad even managed to keep up with his exercising. I am not entirely sure I will let him post about his 13 mile run. This is a family blog, and I am pretty sure you are not supposed to say nipguards on a G-Rated blog. Nuff said!

Even though we had a great time I didn't really break out the camera. Either of them. How sad. I hauled two cameras all that way and don't have a decent picture to show for it. So I guess you have to look at our Christmas card picture. Don't fret if you haven't received yours yet, they are in the mail.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Why My Six Year Old Cried

Ok, winning and losing are tough lessons for little ones to learn. Games at our house, not always so fun. Sometimes Bubba asks, "why can't we all just win? Why does somebody have to lose?" Let's keep in mind, this is usually after he has lost. He does not seem to be so concerned with this concept when he is the winner.

I think it was College Daughter who taught him the "winner, winner, chicken dinner dance". Yes, I am positive it was her.

This takes us to race day. No, I am not having memory loss(well, not about this anyway). I do remember I just posted about a race, but I don't want any of you out there to think Cool Dad is letting us slack off. He signed us all up for another 5k. This one was called the Reindeer Round-up, and yes, there were seniors there dressed up as elves. Just in case anyone was wondering.

On the the race. If you recall from the previous racing post. We had one child who kicked and screamed her way through the race only to take off on her own and finish a good ten minutes ahead of me. Well, for this race Cool Dad told the kids they could run their own race. They wouldn't have to be saddled with Hot Mom and her slow pace. (We'll get to Cool Dad's punishment, for turning my babies loose with a bunch of maniacs, a little later.)

Bubba, always glad to test new found freedom took of like a gazelle as soon as the race started. Luckily I had some spotters on the course looking for him, and it is somewhat of a loop so I could see him at various points throughout the race.

Oddly enough Pie decided to stick with me. About halfway through the race she commented on what a lovely day it was and how happy she was to be running the race with me. WHAT???? Is this the same child, who when told she has to stay with me freaks out and screams and cries for 44 minutes, but when given her freedom she stays with me? I don't really expect an answer on that one, and I digress, we are talking about winning and losing.

So the results break down like this:

Cool Dad shaves a couple of minutes off his Turkey Trot time.
Bubba blasts his Turkey Trot time and comes in easily nine minutes earlier.
Hot Mom and Pie stroll in leisurely, but Hot Mom still manages to shave a couple of minutes.

Pie wins a silver in her age group and Bubba wins a bronze.

Every time he has thought about it the last two weeks he starts to cry and says, "but I beat her, how come she got a silver and I got a bronze. It isn't fair!" He learned that from College Daughter too!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Thanksgiving and my Love, Hate Relationship

I’m not gonna lie. I don’t love it. Thanksgiving, that is. It was proposed once that maybe it is because I am not thankful. I do not find this to be the case. I am quite thankful for all that I have been blessed with, and I am perfectly happy going around the table with everyone telling what they are thankful for, and then diving into that steaming hot pizza in front of us. I am not opposed to this at all.

What I am opposed to is the obvious unfairness in the grand scheme of Thanksgiving preparation. My mom used to get me up EARLY on Thanksgiving morning to start the pies, and it went downhill from there. Where were the male members of my house you are wondering? Parked on the couch with only one switch in scenery the whole day, to drag themselves to the table. It just seems like so much for work for people who can’t even take their eyes off the TV. They could be eating liver, and probably wouldn’t notice.

So what does a person who doesn't enjoy Thanksgiving do for Thanksgiving??

The whole shebang at my brother’s house. Turkey, potatoes, yams, green bean casserole, etc. I would now like to thank my brother and his wife for making the Thanksgiving memories of my youth come to life. It felt so right, almost like they had rehearsed it for my benefit. She would yell for him to come in the kitchen and help her, and he would yell from the couch that he couldn’t because he was watching football. Oh the memories.

Despite the years of therapy this is going to require for me, we still had a lovely time getting together. The entire family was there which hasn’t happened for five years or so. We took advantage by having a family picture taken. Our weekend included, shopping, basketball, football, movies, games, shooting, food and Magic Mountain, and some very happy kids, which I am THANKFUL for.

Next year…pizza at my house!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

College Days

I am a terrible parent.

Just ask Bubba.

He tells me all of the time.

Bubba has quite a few ideas about what he wants to do. He often comes to me at random times and asks questions which I am pretty sure he already knows the answer to.

"Mom, can I grow my hair super long?" No!

"Mom, can I buy a car?" Ummm NO!

So this goes on pretty much all day, every day.

Bubba has decided that if he can't do these things now, he will do ALL of them when he gets to college...He has started a list.

Things Bubba will do in college.

1. Grow his hair really long.
2. Dye said hair a crazy color.
3. Chew gum (no, this is not an activity currently allowed in my house).
4. Play music REALLY loud.
5. Buy his own car.
6. Become a jockey.
7. Eat desert every day.
8. Tease his sister without me knowing.
9. Check his room for cameras every day to make sure I am not spying on him. Not sure why this will be in issue in college, but he must be planning on being really BAD, and really scared I will find out.
10. Eat pizza every day.
11. Wear whatever he wants.
12. Watch sports after his bedtime.
13. Never do homework again.
14. Ride his bike without a helmet.
15. Ride his bike in the street without permission.
16. Walk to the store by himself.

Yes, as you can see, I am a terrible parent.

This list will continue to grow. Every day he comes in with a new question. When I say no, he just walks out and says, "I am adding it to my list".

I am actually getting a little afraid for Bubba to go to college. I don't think my nerves are going to be able to handle it.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

A Shout Out to Grandparents

Earlier this fall we were lucky enough to have both sets of Grandparents come visit us. Last time they came we rushed off to San Diego and Julian to show them how cool "our town" was. This time we decided to stay a bit closer to home.

Grandma and Grandpa H were lucky enough to get to watch Bubba play football, and Pie at her gymnastics class. We girls got to do a little shopping, and the boys watched some football. It was a great relaxing weekend. My little kids were great with my dad. Tt is hard to see what Alzheimers is doing to him. He doesn't know our names anymore, but he knows we look familiar, and that he loves us. He tossed the ball around with Bubba, and he would sit and watch him and say, "that little one, he is a firecracker". My kids were so good with him. When he would get antsy they would take his hand and go for a little walk down the street. I especially like it when I would sit on the couch with him and he would launch into a song. He can still sing a mean version of The Old Grey Mare, Rise and Shout, and Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder. We loved having them, and already have some exciting things planned for the Spring when they come back.

Grandma and Grandpa J came on a weekend when we already had some activities planned so they were "lucky" enough to get drug around town with us, sometimes early in the morning. As you know, Cool Dad has been an exercising machine(sometimes I want to hurt him when he mentions my lack of motivation for exercising, but I still love him)so in his excitement with his new found lifestyle he signed us all up for the 5k Turkey trot. We were all excited, especially Grandma and Grandpa who had to get up early and sit and watch us.

It turned out not to be as painful as I thought. I actually started out pretty strong, but had to slow down for my screaming child who didn't want to be there, and why do we have to run so early, you get the picture. About halfway through Bubba had to go to the bathroom so we had to pull off at a tree. Screaming child then shot by us on a dead run and we didn't see her again until the finish. Apparently it wasn't that she didn't want to run she just didn't want to run with me. Bubba ended up with a bronze medal in his age group and Pie missed a bronze by three seconds, and yes, she does blame me.

Don't worry, we finished our race day strong with a trip to I-Hop!! Cool Dad and I went straight home for a nap while Grandpa and Bubba watched sports and Grandma and Pie went to a movie.

Later that night we went to the Balloon Festival Nighttime Glow. the weather was perfect and the kids loved sharing it with Grandma and Grandpa. They also loved this balloon which was a new addition to the Balloon Festival. Spidey Pig.

Even though we miss living so close to Grandmas and Grandpas we love that they can come visit us. They are very special to us.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Doesn't Everyone Call it a Junk Drawer?

This post is for a couple of important people. There is a small group who will "get" this. We just moved(ok, that part is probably for more than just a few people). We didn't go far, just a few miles to a house with a POOL!! Yes, we are excited.

Anywho, the real reason for this post is the actual moving part. It is a pain. A big pain. Every little thing has to be moved. Including the "junk" drawer, or the drawer that cannot be named in this family friendly blog.

You know who you are. We had a good laugh.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Candy From the Prison...Sure, Why Not?

Halloween…and posted before December, thank you very much!!

I learned my lesson last year. NO making Halloween costumes this year. NO WAY, NO HOW…NOPE. Not happening.

We made our decisions early, and I had them shipped. If only I were so efficient in my blogging.

Bubba decided he wanted to be a BYU football player, luckily we ordered early since there was a glich in the arrival of his costume. He was so excited to open the box the day it came. We opened it up, and there was a big red jersey in there. “NOT UTAH!” Were the first words out of his mouth. Upon further investigation we realized they had sent us a Wisconsin Badgers uniform. That didn’t make him any happier. Luckily we had enough time to get the appropriate uniform sent.

Pie after much deliberation decided she wanted to be Cleopatra. She was VERY excited because she thought this would be very different, and there would not be a lot of Cleopatras. She is all about being different. Sadly Cleopatra was hugely popular this year. When we arrived at Trunk-or-Treat the first costume she saw when we walked in was exactly like hers. She wanted to go home. I hope no other girls have the same dress as her on Prom night, she will not handle it well. Finally, once she calmed down we had a great time with church friends.

Since Halloween landed on a Monday this year we had two nights of candy. We went to Trunk-or-Treat on Saturday, and on Monday we went to the Territorial Prison to trick-or-treat. It was awesome. The kids loved it. Cool Dad loved it. The weather was amazing, and the organizations that decorated cells did a great job. We will definitely be going back next year.

We had a great Halloween. Even though nobody knew Bubba’s football team, and he was kind of disappointed, he was still glad he was a BYU football player.


I have been dreading this post since August. I decided that instead of complaining my way through the whole football season I would just save it all, and wrap it up in one post instead of 90 posts of, “guess what, we have football AGAIN today”.

Bubba loves football. It all started last year when he went to school. A group of boys would get together and recess and play tackle football. I know it is crazy, on the big kid playground the kids couldn’t play tag, because someone might get hurt, but on the Kindergarten playground they were allowed to play tackle football.

Cool Dad also made him participate in a sort of “rite of passage” that all boys from Cool Dad’s side of the family must go through. Your father sits you down and makes you decide who your NFL football team will be. Apparently this will be your team forever, there are no do overs, no take backs, and if you have the misfortune to choose the Miami Dolphins like Cool Dad then you have to like them even when they can’t win a game. Bubba is a proud San Diego Chargers fan.

See how painful this is, and we aren’t even to the part about how football CONSUMED my life for three months.

Bubba talks non-stop about wanting to play football. When I mentioned that I might sign him up for a flag football team he told me he wanted to play football more than he wanted to breathe.

So I plopped down my hugely enormous fee, and we were all signed up…In an INTERNATIONAL football league…What????

There were a few eye openers at the parents meeting. First, practice for the first few weeks will be Monday-Friday from 6-8pm. This is where the first signs of what have I done started to set in. Next, it turns out that there aren’t that many teams in our area so we would be traveling to games. Traveling for six year old football games, are they crazy??? No, apparently I am. Everyone else there seemed to think this was perfectly normal. Finally they hit us with this zinger. The coach asks if anyone has a problem going to Mexico for a game. Excuse me, as in leave the country for a six year old football game. Passports, we need passports to be signed up for this sport?

That is what began my life from August until November.
Bubba loved EVERYTHING about it. He loved games, he even loved practices. I have to admit there were a few days where he was refusing to do homework, and I told him if he didn’t get it done he wouldn’t be able to go to practice. I know a lot of kids who would have said. “Who cares, as long as I can play in the game”. Not Bubba he loved practice too.

Game days were interesting, we only won one game in the regular season, but it was a sweet victory. On the day of the tournament we won one, tied one, and lost two. Bubba didn’t care. He has his trophy, and I think that may be the main reason he did it.

The worst part of the whole experience for me, realizing this is just the start of what will likely be many Saturdays watching football.
Good bye Saturday. It was nice knowing you.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


I live with a party planner. I used to live with a different party planner, but then she moved out and went to college. The second daughter has stepped into the role. They did not get it from me, they got it from their Auntie.

I do not plan parties, I don't really even enjoy parties that much, but my girls LOVE them. They each have one goal in life, to be the hostess with the mostess.

While Bubba and I were off to a football game out of town one weekend(don't worry, that post is coming) Pie and Cool Dad (mostly Pie) decided that she wanted to plan a party for Bubba to congratulate him on his football (loss???) experiences. She somehow conned Cool Dad into driving her to the party store and plunking down cash for decorations, and a pinata (that is where her Auntie comes in. That girl LOVES pinata's. It's Christmas, let's have a pinata. It's Easter, let's have a pinata...Fourth of July, pinata. You get the picture. She actually has her own custom made pinata stick (and still only one pinata stick injury, which we are not supposed to talk about). Anywho, at least Pie's party was a Fiesta so the pinata was a good fit.

Don't you just love the chili pepper pinata. We will not be posting any pictures of us hitting the pinata because not only did we have to hang it dangerously close to a pillar, we also had to use the broom to hit it.

We had an awesome meal of chips and salsa with carne asada, and amazing decorations. She is already bugging me about when our next party is. Look out, your invitation just might be in the mail.

GO TEAM!!!!!!!!

Since we have been in our new city we have been thwarted a couple of times while trying to attend a cheer clinic. This has made Pie very sad because we used to attend a couple each year and she loved them. We finally found one that was not cancelled. We did however have to drive to a rival high school to do it, so all of you locals reading this, don't be offended, and if our cheerleaders would get on the ball and have a clinic we would attend that one too!!!

As usual Pie LOVED this clinic. Not only did she get to perform at half time, but she got to cheer with the cheerleaders too, including doing stunts.

We also met some fun friends who told us about a gym with a class that is perfect for Pie. She in now enrolled in gymnastics and loving it. She is hoping to try out for cheerleader when she is in junior high. I am not sure how I feel about that!!

Catfish Rodeo

Last year we accidentally ended up at the Catfish Rodeo. I think I went to great lengths last year to make Cool Dad feel bad that he didn't tell us about the Catfish Rodeo even though his work was sponsoring it. This year he had it on the calendar circled in red....he really does listen...sometimes.

What is the Catfish Rodeo you ask? Does it involve lassoing ugly fish, no. However, it is a lot of fun.

Each of the government agencies in our area put up booths and have fun activities for kids, including fishing for catfish, and although we didn't actually "fish" we did get pics with a catfish that someone else caught.

We also get to pan for gold, shoot BB guns, cast a fly fishing rod, and try our hand at archery.

He looks a little scary with that bow. He has had way to much fun practicing this past year. If you recall he received a bow and arrow from his cousin Lou last Christmas. Still working on forgiving her.

Pie was not quite as excited about shooting, but she loved panning for gold.

Each of them found actual gold. Cool Dad could probably put a whole post up just about the gold. His agency "stocked" the sludge with actual gold. If the kids found real gold while panning they were given little vials with actual gold in them. It was a huge hit. Cool Dad and his cronies were having more fun than the kids with the whole experience.

All in all, a great way to spend a Saturday, notice our short sleeve shirts in mid-October. Starting to love the weather.


While I am happy to see October go, it was action packed with a lot of things that I did not blog about.

The first of which was Pie’s birthday. We were in quite the conundrum this year as to what type of party she should have. I am one of those moms who only does a party every other year, so when you are going to be nine, and you don’t get a party for two more years you have to make sure it is extra super special.

The winner of the birthday theme for this year, drum roll please…


We decided to show one of her favorite movies, It Takes Two, and have pizza and popcorn and theater candy.

Attendees seemed to enjoy arriving and walking the red carpet.

If you are going to watch a movie you had better have popcorn. (I wish the cake looked as good as the one I found on the internet. Notice I am NOT posting that one for you to compare).

Pie had a great birthday, and she is very happy to be NINE!!!!!

Monday, October 3, 2011

HOT Cool Dad!!

The fans have spoken. They want to see pictures of Cool Dad.

This picture was taken in June on our amazing (amazingly cold) anniversary trip to Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

Amazing what three months of hard work can do. This picture was taken on October 3, while I was giving him specific instructions on driving MY Jeep. Lest you think I am allowing this out of the goodness of my heart, you would be wrong. The AC is broken in his car, and while I am considered heartless by many, even I have my limits.

He is looking great, and feeling even better. Wish him luck on his 5k this weekend.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Biggest


I started a crazy diet about two months ago. Now, before I hear about every possible way to lose weight (i.e. cut carbs, count points, cut calories, smoke weed), let me say that I have found the way for me and I'm good with it. It is do-able and I don't feel like I am going to die of hunger. I eat a salad a day.

One salad a day.

I can eat anything else I want, and I can eat as much salad as I want, I just have to eat a salad a day.

With this idea, I have lost 32 pounds so far...BUT...I have plateaued. I have hit the wall. With that in mind, I have started to exercise as well.

Nothing crazy, just a slow walking jog every evening in 110 degree heat.

Apparently, heat exhaustion and dehydration can help you lose weight in short bursts, but ultimately, it probably isn't so

Tonight I started the Jillian Michaels 20-minute deep burn workout. You know, the one for women. So that their chest, butts and abs look good. Yep, that is the one.

I especially liked it when Jillian said, "Okay, girls, suck in that gut and lets work those gluts."

I felt sooooooo pretty.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

We are Rocking the Parenting World

I am trying to decide if I should title this post "Way to Parent Cool Dad & Hot Mom, or, "In Our Defense, She Does Cry Wolf...Often"

Friday was Cool Dad's day off. He was all set to sleep in, lounge, read, sleep, watch sports, read, sleep, watch sports. Until, the call came in. "Hello, this is the school, your daughter is sick, can you come get her?"

As soon as Cool Dad figures out who I am talking to on the phone he is yelling in the background, "No way, she did this two weeks ago on my day off. (Which is true, he did have to go to the school, and at that time determined she was not sick enough to come home so he left her there). "There is no way I am going to go get her."

I politely tell the nurse that I doubt she is sick since she really didn't want to go to school because her whole class was going to have to stay in at recess and write sentences. Pie thought this was entirely unfair because she didn't do anything wrong, and shouldn't be punished for what everyone else did. I think she should talk to College Daughter about that one. Half of College Daughter's conversations with me start with, "It is so unfair..."

The nurse then goes on to explain that her temp is normal, but she is complaining of an earache, and her ear is a little red and did I want to come get her. (Cool Dad is still yelling in the background that he is not going to that school.)

I finally tell the nurse that we would come get her. Cool Dad stomps off to the school, and takes her straight to Insta Care thinking this may cure the calls on his days off.

One ear infection, and two prescriptions later it looks like we will be spending the weekend at home.

P.S. She totally got out of writing sentences. How did she do that?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Project Runway

We have a budding fashion designer in our midst. Pie, loves to draw. She actually prefers landscapes. She might get that from me since I tend to prefer photographing landscapes over people. However, lately she has been trying her hand at fashion design.

Here are two of her latest.

You will notice that this one has a cute little purse to go with the skirt and blouse.

The blue blob on the bottom started out as a hat, but it didn't work, so she scrapped it.

Now if we could just get these into production, and she could start bringing in some cash.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Hot, Hot, Hot


I think all of the fluff blogs about the kiddies have lulled you into think we live in a climate controlled fantasy land. Not true.


Yesterday 114 degrees
Today 116 degrees
Tomorrow 118 degrees

Here are some things that happen when it is this hot.

• Heat Stroke-Hello Cool Dad, HYDRATE.

• Football practice. Do we still make six year olds practice for two hours in the heat? Yes, we do.

• Old people wear even less clothes than normal in the grocery store. I will save you the specifics so you won’t have to cleanse your minds.

• While waiting for children at the bus stop your hiney will BURN while sitting on the sidewalk.

• If your child does not eat the applesauce you so lovingly place in her lunchbox, and she then leaves the lunchbox on the playground while playing after lunch, the applesauce will EXPLODE all over said lunchbox.

• Hot Mom gets to try out her new kayak on the river.

• The AC bill is $380 for ONE month.

• If your children sneak into the fridge in the garage and steal your baking chocolate chips, and drop them on the floor they will melt immediately, and become a sticky mess tracked into the house.

• It is very important NOT to walk outside without shoes.

• While driving down the road with the AC blasting you in the face there is still sweat running down your back.

• Finally, the most important thing to note about the heat is the fact that once it is over 110 degrees there are no calories in a 44oz Froster from Circle K. I mean come on, with that kind of heat the calories just melt off, right?

Have I mentioned that it is hotter than hades here?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (I think last year's post was called the same thing)

Well, that time of the year has rolled around again, and by that time I mean, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year". I already posted the old Staples commercial to my Facebook page, so I will save all of you blogger from suffering through it again.

The kiddies started school a week and a half ago. I know, it sounds a little anti-climatic to say it like that , but did any of you think I would actually get pics posted within the same week? I figure as long as I am before everyone starts school I am still in good shape.

Both kids got the teachers they wanted, which is a big win in my book. Since it is our second year at this school everything is old hat, and things went off without a hitch.

These kids, they are a growin'!!!!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Dodger Blue

Friday afternoon we headed to Phoenix for our last bit of fun before school starts. We have been talking about taking the kids to a Diamondback's game, and finally decided to go when they were playing the Dodgers. I believe I have mentioned Cool Dads true love of the Dodgers. Cool Dad had found some inexpensive seats for us which is good because of the price, but bad because Pie spent the first inning clinging to me because she is afraid of heights, and we were VERY high up in the stands.

I like to call this picture. "Passing on the Dodger Love" Bubba was so excited to go to the game. He LOVED it. He talked non-stop (not that that is unusual for him), and asked a million questions. I think the poor people around us might not have appreciated the running commentary. It took Pie a little while to warm up, and she did her best to "not love being there", but eventually she couldn't help herself and she started having a great time. There were some benefits being in the super high seats. No lines at the concession stand, not a ton of people all around you, and we were close to the kids area. Both kids got to hit some balls at the little batting cage.

Can you even see the players in this picture???

There was one other HUGE benefit to sitting up that high. They take pity on you, and when it comes time to look for people to sit down on the field during the fireworks, they choose people from the nose bleed seats. Cool Dad had just taken Bubba to the little man's room for about the hundredth time when a lady offered him four of these. These little babies got us down on the field after the game sitting at home plate watching the fireworks. Talk about fun! The kids were dying, even Pie had to admit it was the best thing ever.

We had a great time at the game. Cool Dad thought the fireworks were great too, but the best part for him, the DODGER'S WON!!!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


While passing Food City (a local economy grocery store):

Bubba: Oh, Dad, Food City looks like a great place to go into.

Cool Dad: Why is that Buddy?

Bubba: 'Cause its called "Food City" and I'm super hungry.

Cool Dad: Yep, I bet the food in there is delicious.

Bubba: Dad?

Cool Dad: Yeah, Bud?

Bubba: You know you can't say that to girls.

Cool Dad: What, Bud?

Bubba: You can't say THAT to girls.

Cool Dad: Delicious?

Bubba: Yeah, Dad. You can only say that to Barbies and Polly Pockets. Oh, and if you're in college or high school.

Cool Dad: So you can't say, "Hey, Baby, you are delicious."?

Bubba: Nope.

Cool Dad: So have you ever said that to a girl.

Bubba: No way.

Cool Dad: But if you were in college you would say it?

Bubba: No way, Dad!

Cool Dad: So what would you say?

Bubba: I'd say, "Hey, Baby, I'm your ex-boyfriend."

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Proud Swim Mom


The past five weeks Pie has been participating in a summer swim program. Quite obviously she was on the Kennedy Pool Team, and we were the killer whales (I really wanted a shirt. I might have one made for next year). She had some great friends on the team, and that added to the fun.

The program is an awesome city program, which is very affordable, and teaches the kids the correct way to execute the strokes.

The first week is spent working on freestyle, second week backstroke, third week breaststroke, and fourth week butterfly. On every Thursday we would have a swim meet against the Marcus Marlins.

To say that Pie loved it would be a bit of an understatement. I mean she REALLY LOVED it. Except for the backstroke, not really her thing, and the first day of butterfly was a bit painful.

Here she is practicing the for her breaststroke race, and doing a little dance that goes with it.

Oddly enough her best strokes are breaststroke and butterfly, both of which she can do much quicker than freestyle, go figure. On the fifth week meet the kids get to choose their favorite three races. She chose free, breast, and fly. She just missed the medals by a smidge in the breaststroke, but still came away with two seconds and a third in the first four meets.

We are so proud of her. She is already talking about next season, and beating her times. So happy to be back in my element.

P.S. Is the haircut the cutest thing ever???

Sunday, July 24, 2011

You Say It's Your Birthday...nah nah nah nah nah

Somebody in our family had a birthday. Can you guess who??

Yep. College Daughter has left her teens in the dust. She is officially twenty. Which is starting to get a little awkward since I am twenty-nine, but no reason to dwell on that.

We had a great time celebrating at the old stomping grounds surrounded by friends and family.

First up, swimming with the whole family, and when I say whole family I mean it. The blog world has not been formally introduced to our other children because we don't get to see them very often. Blog world, let me introduce Matt and Valorie.

Please ignore the fact that this is a Wedding picture. There were NO pictures taken at the pool, and the pictures from Easter are a little inappropriate. No Matt, Eggs do NOT come from there.

Anywho, Cool Dad worked on a "Dig", because that is what Archaeologists do. This particular dig lasted 10 months. There were many college students working on this dig, and they would randomly come and go for Sunday dinners at our house. Well, Val just kind of stuck. She fit in with our family, so we decided to keep her. We love being her family in "the West". Matt, well he comes with Val now, so we are stuck. Just kidding we love them both, and we had an awesome time swimming as a family for College Daughter's birthday. I think it will be hard to forget all of my "children" jumping off the diving board screaming, "Mom, mom, mom. Look at this one!!!!" I do think the lifeguards were ready to kick us off the hydrotube, we might have all screamed the whole way down, a time or two.

Next up, movie time. The girls went to Monte Carlo, which was predictable, but fun for girls of all ages. The boys went to The Zookeeper. Rumor has it, they will never get that hour and a half back. Oh, and if you are wondering, we rarely go to movies together. We discovered that everyone is happier if we each go to our own.

Now, I don't know that I can really say the water balloon fight was for College Daughter's birthday. In reality it was for Bubba. I knew if he didn't get some water fighting cousin time in he might actually die. However, since they all did soak College Daughter we will include it as a birthday activity.

On Saturday night Grandma made Hawaiian Haystacks and Cream Cheese pie which is one of College Daughter's favorite dinners. We had quite a crowd there, and it got a little loud, even though we kept it under thirty guests. College Daughter made a pretty good haul, and seemed quite pleased with her birthday weekend.

We love you College Daughter! We think you are beautiful, kind, a lifesaver, sweet, smart, genuine, caring, loving, flirty, sassy, tough, a fast swimmer, a good big sister, an awesome friend, talented, responsible, hard working, clean (a little OCD actually), a snazzy dresser, and a Daughter of God.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

It's Almost My Birthday

I know what I want for my birthday!!!!!

One of these babies

Do you think Cool Dad will go for it?

A bargain at around $5k, and I am sure they are totally inexpensive to maintain. How cool would it be to live in a lighthouse?? Cool Dad would love it. He isn't afraid of heights at all. He totally past waking up in a cold sweat when he dreams about climbing to the top of the Tybee Lighthouse. Way past it. It has been at least a week.

I am going to start dropping hints now.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I Win...You Lose

Hello Blogger World,

I have an extremely important question for you. Is there a way to print the Wii Bowling scores? All of you who know how competitive Cool Dad is are starting to chuckle because you can see where this is headed.

Let's just say that I was dancing around the family room yelling, "WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER, I KICKED YOUR TRASH!!!" In all of my sportsmanship like glory. Hmmm I wonder if the children noticed? Probably since it was a Family Home Evening activity. What can I say, parenting at its finest.

Hot Mom-180
Cool Dad-172

Take that!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Big One-Oh

Well,Cool Dad really did it this time. He posted out of order. How could he not know that I like things orderly? The Anniversary post must come before random stories that happened yesterday. So in order to get us back on track I am just going to post pics and random thoughts about our trip. It was taking way too much time for me to try and come up with witty comments. So, here goes the Anniversary post.

First of all, Bubba made us this cool card. How could we not be excited for our Anniversary?

Cool Dad and I recently celebrated our Anniversary. It was our 10th, so the planning fell to Cool Dad. He plotted and planned for months before deciding on the perfect destination. For awhile he would just tell me that it would be somewhere out of the country. Since Cool Dad knows I love a warm beach I started having visions of tropical destinations.
Then, he finally announced the perfect romantic getaway to… Canada?? Isn’t it COLD in Canada??
That’s right folks; I had to get out my winter sweaters to go on vacation. I admit I did torment Cool Dad about the weather the whole time we were there, but it was really nice, and 70 degrees isn’t bad with a jacket.

Victoria, BC is beautiful, the flowers were blooming, and everything was so green. We really enjoyed touring the island. Usually we stay on the outskirts of places we visit for the best hotel rate, but for the big trip we stayed right in downtown at the harbor(Cool Dad even sprung for the Romance package so when we got to our room there were flowers, sparkling grape juice (which the hotel staff had to drive all over Canada looking for), and a big chocolate heart..he really does know me). It was so fun to be close to everything. We could wander around in the evenings, and we hit a few of the English Pubs for dinner, Mmm fish and chips.

Sorry, this picture is strictly for Cool Dad. he wanted proof that will go in the blog book that he is one heck of a romantic guy.

I love taking pictures of lighthouses. Living in the desert I don’t get much of a chance, so if there is a lighthouse within a hundred miles Cool Dad makes sure I get there. This trip we actually saw four. One we did not get very close to, since it was on the Washington side, but we went past it on our Whale Watching tour. I am going to put in a plug for Eagle Wing Whale Watching Tours. They are a smaller company, but the tour was top notch, the captains were cute, and their boats are awesome. We were able to see a ton of whales, and Cool Dad burned his forehead, not to mention we got to wear these lovely outfits.

Since they have guaranteed a whale sighting I kind of expected that if we didn't see actual whales, they would have us take a look around the boat at each other. No fear, we did see whales. I took about fifty pictures of fins going underwater. Wildlife photographer, I am not. This one isn't too bad.

I also loved the Parliament House, it is a beautiful building. This picture also shows one of many totem poles. It was fascinating to see the mix of the English and First Nations cultures. I could practically make a calendar with all of my totem, pole pictures to go with my lighthouse calendar.

Although we loved being right in Victoria we wouldn't be us without a little exploring. We put over 450 miles on our rental car visiting other towns. We loved the museum in Nanaimo. Ask Cool Dad how he liked his famous Nanaimo bar? Can you say coconut? He about spit it out on the table, but had the manners to politely work his way through it since we were eating at a retiree hot spot. We also ate at A&W in Sooke where they still have the "family of burgers". Cool Dad and I enjoyed Teen Burgers (I know that is going to give away our ages).

At the end of the week we were ready to come home and see our kiddies, but the trip was a huge success. It was great to see a new place, and spend time alone with Cool Dad. Thanks for planning it honey. Happy Anniversary!

P.S. Did I mention the chocolate? I might need a whole other post just to talk about it. Don't tell Cool Dad, but I paid $4.99 for a candy bar, and I ate it all by myself. It is the kind the Queen eats when she goes to Canada. YUMMY!!!!!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

...Makes Perfect

Bud: Pie get out of my room.

Bud (with a little more volume and emotion): Pie, get out of my room! I don't want you in here! Get out!

Bud (almost in tears): Pie, I told you. Get out. I'm gonna tell Mom. I'm serious. I'm gonna tell Mom!

Bud (at the top of his lungs): Mmmmooooooooommmmmmmm! Pie is in my room and won't get out.

Hot Mom (annoyed): Pie! Get out of your brother's room. Right now!

Bud (peaking out of his room completely calm): Mom, she's not in here.

Hot Mom (totally perplexed): Then why are you screaming?

Bud (nonchalantly): I'm just practicing.

No wonder Pie is paranoid.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Water Fight with Hot Water...Because That is How We Roll

Hello Blog,

Oh how I have missed you. I have been gone for three weeks. I have been on an extended work/vacation going from the heat to the land of the "Frozen Chosen", to Zion, and across the country to the state of "Live Free or Die", and back to the depths of He**.

I have had limited computer access at different intervals, and I have so much to say and show you. However, it is 118 degrees outside right now, and I have to go make strawberry jam, but first our family will engage in a water fight with hot water. "Why would we do that?" You might ask. Because there is NO other type of water here. All water comes out of the pipes burning hot. I think we actually turned our hot water heater off. I do have the water balloons on ice as we speak, but I am not hopeful that they will be even the slightest bit cool.

I do however want to tell you that I LOVED my trip to Canada. It felt a little like coming home. How can a country who loves chocolate and Pepsi not have a little soft spot in my heart?

So, until I can dazzle you with my wit and beautiful landscape pics I will leave you with the first tidbit of my trip.

On the shuttle bus at the Las Vegas Airport (5am). Man sits down next to attractive woman, and asks, "So are you flying today?" Without missing a beat she responds, "Nope, I just like to hang out at the airport."

Here's your sign!

Friday, June 3, 2011

All About Me: By Bubba

The following is taken from a kindergarten project written and produced by Bubba (italicized words were written by Bubba himself).

"My name is Bubba.

I am 6 years old.

My eyes are brown.

My hair is brown.

The thing I like best about school is lunch and pe.

My favorite animal is a tigre.

My favorite food is sae food (imagine a Southern drawl).

My favorite game is the kuntucudrbe (we think this is Kentucky Derby).

My favorite book is hary potr (he's never read this book or had it read to him...but, okay).

My favorite thing to do is be stubrn (preaching to the choir on this one).

My best friend is a fotbol plary.

Things I like to do with my friends are get my nerf guns tu cun u wae and tont my mom (re: get my Nerf guns taken away and taunt my mom).

Something I do really well at: being werd.

What people like about me: becus i rock.

Ways I am a good friend: I fix thar Moms car so they can go sum war. I am lasy."

That concludes this week's episode of getting to know Bubba.

Bubba: Top left...nuff said!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Month in the Life

To blog or not to blog?

That is the question.

Over the past year when things would happen in my life I would run through my mind how I would document it on my blog. The past few months the blog has been like another job, complete with the guilt of letting it slide. Let’s not forget Cool Dad who did NOT step in and pick up the slack.

Then it happened…I realized that this is my journal, this is how I have documented the past year of our life. I started the blog when we moved to our new home. I wanted to be able to keep family and friends updated on our happenings, but it has become so much more, and I realized if I don’t document the wonderful things my kids are doing I will lose them forever, not to mention that Cool Dad’s antics must be documented for future “use” against him.

So, here it goes.

Bubba calls oatmeal Yoatmeal.

Pie calls photographers photographiers (photograph e ears).

When you ask College Daughter how something not so good feels. She still says, “not berry good.” Just like when she was little.

College daughter likes to lay on the couch with her head in my lap and tell me all about college while I play with her hair.

Pie can’t wait to start swim team in a few weeks.

Bubba wants to play flag football more than he wants to breathe.

Cool Dad and I drove College Daughter and her friend, Noelle to the beach in San Deigo, and they didn’t even get in the water.

Pie prays every night that she will get the 3rd grade teacher that she wants. I do too.

Bubba would play Mario Kart 24/7 if we would let him.

Hot Mom misses FarmGirl and AnneBabe.

Pie can’t wait to spend some time with Aunt Nona this summer for some rock polishing, and Bubba wants to call her every day and remind her that she promised him he could ride a horse when he is there this summer.

Bubba asks, “How many more minutes?” ALL OF THE TIME. For EVERYTHING.

Cool Dad is taking Hot Mom to a COLD location for the big anniversary trip (does he not know me at all)?

Bubba finished his second season of T-ball. Is there anything cuter than little boys in baseball uniforms?

Pie is getting to be so grown up. It is fun to take her to the grocery store with me. She is a big help.

College daughter has determined that manual labor is not for her. The lifeguards had to clean the pool and paint the play structure prior the pool opening. Good thing she is in college.

Bubba and Cool Dad had an awesome time at Father’s and Sons. They really need a new tent. Every year they sleep in a one man pup tent.

Cool Mom got the worst sunburn of her life floating down the river on a tube. Sunscreen is awesome, and when it is applied you should not miss random spots like armpits, a stripe down one leg, and a stripe across the thighs. It is an interesting look.

Now you are all caught up. There is only one thing left to say, as only Alice Cooper can.


Bring it. The Heat Wavers are ready!!

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Birthday Boy

My baby is six.

I keep thinking that my birthdays are painful, but this one was by far the worst. The whole year he was five I kept telling myself he was still really just a toddler because he could fit into 5T clothes, but it just isn’t true anymore. He is a little boy. I have about five minutes each morning right when he wakes up to pretend he is my baby, but once he is off and running, it is all over.

I am also sad to report that you know it is your last child when this is how you wrap their birthday presents, which he got to open a day early since we left on a San Diego overnighter early on his actual birthday. He is very happy with his presents, including his Wii Mario Kart.

To take a little of the birthday sting away College Daughter came home for a few days once her semester ended. We had a great time having her here for Easter, and for Bubba’s birthday.

San Diego was a ton of fun, and the little kids were excited to hit the beach. It was a bit chilly at the beach, but that didn’t slow them down one bit.

We stayed in Oceanside, and we were pretty close to the Marina. We had promised Bubba he could eat dinner wherever he wanted since it was his birthday. He picked McDonalds, but Cool Dad couldn’t find one close to us. Cool Dad found a few restaurants that were close. You should have heard his “selling” the restaurants he wanted to go to. We ended up at Joe’s Crab Shack, and everyone was happy. Bubba even got serenaded by the whole restaurant for his birthday.

The next morning we went to the Old Town to the Mormon Batallion Museum, the tides pools, and Cabrillo lighthouse. It was a quick trip, but so fun to have the whole family together again. We really miss College Daughter when she is not here.

Yes, I know Bubba's birthday was last month, but I am giving myslef a 30 day window here.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bubba Goes to College

I have been meaning to post this blog all week. Last Monday night Bubba went to school with me. Some of you parents out there may be familiar with the divide and conquer method of parenting. When both parents have someplace they need to be and there is not a babysitter available you assign the children to the activities where they will do the least amount of damage.

Cool Dad had to attend a public meeting for work, and I had to go to school. Normally I would not have taken Bubba with me, but the instructor in my archaeology class is making sure we have some "hands on" experiences, and that night night we were scheduled to perform a survey that she had set up in an empty field on campus. I knew we would also have some in class time too, so I packed a little chair for him, and some reading and math books to work on, and off we went to school.

First things first. Apparently at some point I told him my school was orange. He was quick to point out that I lied. Next, we arrived in the classroom where he promtly made himself at home and read Green Eggs and Ham out loud to everyone as they filed into the classroom.

At last, it was time to go outside. He was so excited, he could hardly wait for "recess" to start. We all lined up to start our survey, and the teacher even gave him some flags so he could mark any artifacts he found. He was actually quite good at it and was so proud he found some things that other students just walked by. Luckily he was there to point out to all of them that he was a better surveyor than them. Once "recess" ended we had a small break and I splurged and bought him a drink and candy at the vending machine. He LOVED that.

Finally we headed back to class where the instructor lectured on survey techniques. He sat there so quietly and listened to her entire lecture. At the end everyone asked him if he planned on being an archaeologist? "Yes, no, yes," he said. "Well, actually I am going to be a jockey, but then when I am too old, like eighteen, then I will be an archaeologist." Well, at least he has a fall back plan.

One the way home from class he talked non-stop about how great college is, and how he can't wait to go to college, and how easy it is. He just hopes he gets more than one recess at his collge.

Last night at class we recorded at site. Everyone asked why I didn't bring Bubba with me. They thought he would have loved recording a site.

Maybe Cool Dad will have one child follow him in his career path.

Monday, April 25, 2011

He** in a Handbasket

I think my husband wants me to quit college. You might be asking yourself why I think that. Let's just say that if you read back through some of the posts you can find an interesting trend of things falling to pieces on Monday nights. I remind you of the showing of Indiana Jones to a very small child who didn't sleep for a week incident, etc.

Tonight's fiasco has to do more with the house (although as I am in here blogging/hiding the children are STILL not in bed).

Are there any Everybody Loves Raymond fans out there? I think I have watched every episode. Many of them have made me laugh, some of them have hit a little too close to home. Ray seemed to try quite hard to screw things up just so Debra would quit asking him to do things around the house. Now, I don't want to say that is what is going on at my house, HOWEVER, what kind of nitwit (and I say that with all of the love I have in me right now) puts Palmolive Dish Soap in the DISHWASHER???

I can't attest to the full scale of the calamity. I came home to a bunch of wet towels, and a denial that anything was wrong. Although, I did hear that Pie might have run screaming through the house, "Daddy, the dishwasher is EXPLODING."

Oh good grief.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Truth Be Told

"Dad, are we gross?"

"Of course, Bud, we're boys."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Joking Around

During a weekend with a favorite cousin (Lou), Pie and Bubba were introduced to the world of formal joke telling. I am not sure the concept of the "formal joke" was totally understood.

To begin...Bubba told a classic.

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?"

Dramatic pause.

"Cause he was dead!"

Cue the unrestrained laughter of Hot Mom and Hot Mom's sister.

Then Pie told another classic.

"What has legs but can't walk?"

I had an urge to shout, "Grandpa!", who recently had knee surgery, but I bit my tongue to allow the comedy to flow freely.

Dramatic pause.

"A table."

Cue laughter once more.

Lou then chimed in with another.

"What has teeth but cannot chew?"

At this point Bubba had an Arnold Horshack moment where he raised his hand and started to yell.

"Ooooh, oooohh, oooohh, I know this one! I know this one!"

Lou desperately wanted to blurt out the punchline, but Bubba was having none of it. He was so sure he knew the answer.

"What is it, Bubba?" asked Lou.

"The police guy. The police guy from Daddy's work. Huh, Dad?"

Confused at Bubba's answer, Lou shook her head and finished her joke.

"Its a comb, Bubba."

"No, its not," insisted Bubba. "Its Doug. The answer is Doug. He has teeth and he can't chew. Right, Dad? We went and saw him at his house and he couldn't chew or anything."

Slowly I began to realize what Bubba was talking about. A month or so ago, a Ranger at my office had a very severe accident at work in which an ATV he was loading on to his truck fell off and pretty much crushed his head, breaking every bone in his face. Luckily, the doctors did some reconstructive surgery and Doug is expected to be just fine, but the doctors wired his jaw up tight so he has to eat/drink everything out of a straw.

So....technically....Doug has teeth and cannot chew. He IS the butt/punchline of the joke.

Like a little sleuth, Bubba figured it out and managed to ruin a joke and humiliate one of his dad's co-workers.

Like father, like son.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Disneyland- What Really Happened

As much as Cool Dad wants to complain about Disneyland, he can’t deny that he had a great time. If for no other reason than our whole family was together. It is highly likely we could have brought the whole family together in a more cost effective way, but we were, as the Disney song says, “making memories”

Day one we hustled through both parks going on every major ride. Can I just say that having everyone old enough to walk, and a carry their own little backpack with treats and water was a total win win. We only has two small traumas with Bubba. He was not tall enough for Indiana Jones or California Screaming. Other than that he was pretty much in perma grin all day. It was pretty warm so we happily rode on Grizzly Bear Rapids. Luckily College Daughter soaked up most of the water on that ride and none of the rest of us got too wet.

Bubba did have one ride that he especially enjoyed. It was located in the Redwood Forrest at California Adventures. Surprisingly no big lines, and he went on it probably 20 times.

So basically I could have put a tire swing in my back yard, and saved myself about a thousand dollars. Good to know.

Day two we hit all of the must rides. Small World, Mr. Toads Wild Ride, Tikki Room, and of course Dumbo.

So to sum it all up.
Cool Dad enjoyed having something to complain about.
Hot Mom is planning the next trip (in three years when the checkbook balances again).
College Daughter is still wishing she could stay a kid forever.
Pie went on every roller coaster, but in each of the pictures they took on the rides she looked petrified.
Bubba held his hands up on every roller coaster, but would rather have played on "Smoke Jumper" all day.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Happiest Place on Earth

1 R/T Plane Ticket to Long Beach (for College Daughter) -- $210

5 Tickets to Disneyland -- $775.

Two Meals at Disneyland (one mac & cheese kids meal, two hamburger kids meals about the size of a 50-cent piece, one regular hamburger meal to share between Hot Mom and Cool Dad, a Caesar salad, three slices of pizza and an order of breadsticks) -- $90.

3 Churros at Disneyland -- $10.50.

One Gallon of Gas in California -- $4.19.

One Sweatshirt from Target (cuz Hot Mom forgot that it might get cold in California) -- $19.99.

The Wait in the Captain Nemo Submarine Line -- 1 hr. 10 minutes.

The Wait in the Get Cool on a 93 Degree Day Ride -- 1 hr. 15 minutes.

Total Time Spent in Restrooms in the Magic Kingdom -- 1 hr. 20 minutes.

Total Time Spent in Freezing Cold Pool at Cheap Hotel -- 27 minutes.

Total Time It Took Hot Mom to Get Freezing Kids Warm Food Following Cold Pool -- 49 minutes.

Total Time It Took Pie and Bubba to Fall Asleep Each Night -- 3 minutes 24 seconds.

Total Time It Took Cool Dad to Lose His Cool at the Happiest Place on Earth -- 1.73 seconds.

Total Time It Took Hot Mom to Sign Us Up for This Torture Again -- .041 seconds.

"I can't wait to do this again," said Hot Mom.

"Kill me, now!" said Cool Dad.

"We don't say 'Kill' in our family," said Bubba and Pie.

"Yeah, Cool Dad!" said College Daughter with her mouth full of churro.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


From the Halls of Montezuma,
To the shores of Tripoli;
We fight our country's battles
In the air, on land, and sea;

Growing up my Dad, who served in the Air Force, would sing all of the Armed Forces songs to us, at least the first few lines. Of course making sure that we knew the Air Force song was obviously the best. Even with his memory loss, hearing any of these songs is still bring a great big smile to his face.

Last weekend we were lucky enough to spend the day on the Marine base attending the air show in our town. It made me think of my Dad, I wished he were there. He and my Step-Mom missed it by just one week. Although we had a great time at the camel farm with them the previous weekend (sorry no pics...bad mom, bad mom).

The kids had a great time (except for the 45 minutes getting on base, and the horrible lunch because the bun was touching the hot dog). Cool Dad enjoyed it all (except for the 45 minutes getting OFF the base)and I got some great photos, but I haven't even told you the best part.

Wait for it....

It was FREE (except for lunch)

I am proud to be an American.
I get a little choked up when I see the flag.
I am proud of my Dad who is a Vet.
I appreciate those who serve yesterday, today and tomorrow.