I am now down approximately 54 lbs. from my midsummer high in fatness and I am two short weeks away from what promises to be a horrendous attempt at addressing a mid-life crisis (aka the Tough Mudder)...so...I decided to write some observations for all of you about the last six months in the life of Cool Dad.
Here goes...
I miss Doritos and Dr. Pepper.
If you run 13.1 miles in freezing conditions without an anti-chafing chest guard, you are just begging for an uncomfortable post-run shower. OUCH!
I hate those guys and girls that can run a 5k in less than 24 minutes. I hate them and envy them at the same time.
I still look in the mirror and see a 23-year-old man...and I want to beat him up for wasting the last 20 years on Doritos and Dr. Pepper.
Big dogs bark at joggers.
I don't like it when other joggers encourage me, 'cause that just means they are faster than me and pity me, but I love it when I encourage other joggers 'cause it means I'm faster than them and I pity them.
I am still so competitive that I got really upset when a man pushing a stroller beat me in a 5k. I just wanted to go all Tonya Harding on him.
I am soooo tired.
I wore out the battery on that stupid scale in my bathroom.
I am not on a diet, but I'm thinking about calling my weight-loss plan the Fatkin's Diet.
I don't want to buy new clothes that fit, cause it makes me feel fat again. I like it when my clothes just hang on me.
All my self-deprecating fat jokes are slowly becoming obsolete.
The Tough Mudder experience was really a lapse in judgment. I mean...what was I thinking? There is no way I'm hauling my butt 12.5 miles in the mud over 12-ft high walls and through ice cold water. Silly, silly, silly Cool Dad.
I recently did a sauna and avoided all Ball Park Franks references.
I really like the T-shirts you get from entering a 5k.
My New Year's Resolution this year is to keep it going and run 500 miles in 2012.
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