Shirt Happens

On Christmas Eve, the Heat Wavers all get new Jammies. This tradition is anxiously awaited by all the parties involved. I, too, even enjoy it. Its fun.

I don't wear the traditional PJs with the feet and the torture-inducing flannel, but I still manage to get some new sports shorts or a new t-shirt on Christmas Eve and the kids anxiously wait for me to wear my Jammies out in public. So I wear a t-shirt to bed and out to work. Big deal.

So this year, Hot Mom is going to get me a new t-shirt for my Christmas Eve Jammies. The conversation went something like this.

"I'm going to get you a t-shirt for Christmas Eve this year if that's okay,"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Do you want a specific color?"

"Ummm...you're not gonna get mad at me or anything are you?"

"Why?"

"Well, I kinda want ya to buy me a t-shirt with something on it this year."

"Something on it?"

"Yeah, like a design or some words or something...anything...on it."

"You want a design?"

"Yeah, I own 16 t-shirts. And every one of the t-shirts is a solid color."

"I doubt that."

Trip to closet confirms presence of 16 t-shirts with nothing on them. Two browns, two tans, two reds, two greens, a light-blue, a rust-colored, three grays, a dark blue, and a white. No stripes, no polka dots, no paisleys, no words, no character, no fun, no design...just solid t-shirts from the Big and Tall section of the Boring Store.

"So you're saying, I buy you boring clothes?"

"Umm..."

"So you're saying you'd rather buy your own clothes from now on because your wife dresses you like a big dud?"

"Umm..."

"So I'm not a good wife?"

"Umm...I love you?"

"Hmmmmph, well lookie here! Walmart is having a sale on Sesame Street-inspired t-shirts. There's a Big Bird for $5 and a Bert and Ernie for $7.50. Aaaaaannnnnddddd they have them in Triple X. This is gonna be a lot more fun than I thought."

"Umm..."