Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Hot, Hot, Hot

IT IS HOT HERE!

I think all of the fluff blogs about the kiddies have lulled you into think we live in a climate controlled fantasy land. Not true.

IT IS HOT HERE!

Yesterday 114 degrees
Today 116 degrees
Tomorrow 118 degrees

Here are some things that happen when it is this hot.

• Heat Stroke-Hello Cool Dad, HYDRATE.

• Football practice. Do we still make six year olds practice for two hours in the heat? Yes, we do.

• Old people wear even less clothes than normal in the grocery store. I will save you the specifics so you won’t have to cleanse your minds.

• While waiting for children at the bus stop your hiney will BURN while sitting on the sidewalk.

• If your child does not eat the applesauce you so lovingly place in her lunchbox, and she then leaves the lunchbox on the playground while playing after lunch, the applesauce will EXPLODE all over said lunchbox.

• Hot Mom gets to try out her new kayak on the river.

• The AC bill is $380 for ONE month.

• If your children sneak into the fridge in the garage and steal your baking chocolate chips, and drop them on the floor they will melt immediately, and become a sticky mess tracked into the house.

• It is very important NOT to walk outside without shoes.

• While driving down the road with the AC blasting you in the face there is still sweat running down your back.

• Finally, the most important thing to note about the heat is the fact that once it is over 110 degrees there are no calories in a 44oz Froster from Circle K. I mean come on, with that kind of heat the calories just melt off, right?

Have I mentioned that it is hotter than hades here?

2 comments:

  1. Wow Heidi, all I can say is wow! My first suggestion is to skip football practice, then skip school, then take everyone to the river and stay submerged for possibly the next month!

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  2. the wasted chocolate made me the most upset for you. I know how you feel about chocolate. :)

    stand in your underwear in front of the freezer, its pretty marvelous. not that I've tried that before or anything . . .

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