My Contribution to the Marriage

I do little. Precious little. Around here I feel as though I am a big bump on an otherwise insignificant log. However, I have contributed to my marriage in various ways. Here, let me count the ways.

1. I introduced plastic cups. Yep, until I arrived Hot Mom and College Daughter were glass people. With my introduction of plastic cups, we have no doubt avoided numerous glass dropping disasters and I have singlehandedly saved numerous grains of sand that would have otherwise become glass.

2. I introduced a toenail clipping ban in bed. Hot Mom is a bedridden toenail clipper. I think everyone is now much safer.

3. I introduced proper toilet roll installation. Over the top, people...over the top.

4. I am responsible for bringing spices into the house. Apparently, Hot Mom grew up in a bland household. No garlic. No salt. No pepper. No cumin, chili powder, sesame seed, mace, coriander or Beau Monde. I, however, am full of spice. Hot Mom also mentions that I am full of quite a different thing, but...I digress.

5. I contributed some X chromosomes. On occasion they were thwarted (see Pie), but they eventually got through (see Bud) and we are happy for it.

6. I brought Stake Conference attendance. Stake Conference was formerly known as a "Day Off from Church".

7. I am responsible for the Maps. They are everywhere and they are glorious. Hot Mom even finds herself using them, referring to them, marking them, etc. College Daughter loves them and even Pie and Bud are getting use to them being everywhere.

8. I brought the Heat Wavers post office pictures.


9. I am trying to think of something for Number 9, but I think we might want to skip it for now. I'll get back to you on this one.

10. Oooooh, oooooh, I also brought "Snickers" into the daily lexicon of the family. For instance, Hot Mom will say, "How can we get Cool Dad to shush up?" and the kids will say, "Snickers!"

There you have it people. I am surprised I came up with ten. I am really all that and a bag of chips.