Giving Blood: The Experience

"Have you had sex with twins hanging from the rafters of a medieval church within the last three years?"

"No."

"Have you experienced malarial symptoms in European countries while tying your shoes?"

"Ummmm...no!"

"Do you feel well enough to eject blood from a perforated vein while squeezing a sawed off piece of PVC pipe while looking at a 200-pound Hispanic woman sipping on an Icee?"

"Ummmm...yes."

"Very well, Cool Dad. Come over here and sit in this aluminum lawn chair while Dana jabs a needle in to you arm at least seven times before calling for her supervisor."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"After you are done, you may have all of the shortbread cookies, Juicy Juice, and trail mix you can stuff in your ample craw, but now you have to sit down here and squeeze the PVC pipe while we conveniently forget that you are the only blood donor at our station."

"So how often can I do this?"

"Oh, once every eight weeks whether you want to or not. Now that we have your phone number we will never let you forget the great service you are sure to provide for the rest of your life."

"Ummmm...my pleasure?"

"No, sir, its my pleasure. Now this may hurt just a little."

"A little?"

"Mwahahahahahahaha!"