Summer Vacation

Two days.

That's is all we could afford on my government salary and the joy of hotel points.

So...after being chided by Hot Mom for playing two hands of Texas Hold 'Em on Facebook, I loaded up the van and headed to San Diego with Hot Mom and the two kiddies in tow.

First destination: Mission Beach.

Let me take a moment here to digress. Mission Beach on a Friday afternoon in late July is a demolition derby of tramp stamps, wife-beaters, geriatric granolas, and latte-induced hyperactivity. The parking attempt alone was fraught with angst, terror, and lots of irritation from the kiddies as the beach loomed in the distance.

Anyway...we found a safe haven for Odie (our van) and Cool Dad slipped in to the back seat to again slip into his chic swim trunks. Once that debacle and the subsequent hubbub over what to take to the beach and the constant lame cries from Hot Mom about the 63 degree temperature, we tackled the beach.

Awwwwww....

I love the beach. 63 degrees and all, the beach is awesome. Hot Mom curled up in sweat pants, a parka, two down sleeping bags, and a Snuggie while Cool Dad and the kiddies hopped right in to the frothy surf. IT WAS COLD! But...we endured it, we conquered it, and we made it.

Here is a brief recap:

1. We collected our fair share of seashells including one live crab, one live clam, and several dead fish.

2. We created two fairly lame sand castles and one fairly awesome sand fort (we built it in the no go zone where the lifeguards demand access so we got in trouble, but it was still super cool)

3. I succeeded in getting the lips of both of the kiddies blue. I think Bubba got hypothermia and Pie is still shivering but a dad has to do what a dad has to do.

4. I tried to teach Bubba how to pee in the ocean, but failed. Apparently he is quite a proper little pee-er.

5. I awakened Hot Mom from her long Summer's nap just in time to take her home.

So...we then went back to the motel, cleaned up, went to Fuddrucker's, bought Hot Mom a book cause she realized at the beach that she had already read the book she brought from the library (likely story), returned to the hotel, and then WENT SWIMMING again.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Yes, we went swimming at the motel.

I think it was at this point that the ambulance arrived to fish me out of the pool in my catatonic state and wheel me back to the motel room on a gurney.

I passed out slightly thereafter and remember nothing more.

Stay tuned as Hot Mom will recap the events from the second day of SUMMER VACATION.